Tom Kredo, EPSA, GPSA
September 2023 - Defender
Original
Original 2
Original 3
About the Image(s)
My goal here was to show the scene of a laser battle with a plane destroyed on the left. I have not had good feedback on this, so I think I need help rethinking this. Your thoughts?
This round’s discussion is now closed!
13 comments posted
Tom, This is a very busy picture with much in it to occupy the viewer's attention and perhaps that is its undoing. Seeing the image for the first time and without the benefit of the 'About the Image' words, there is no obvious visual story to link the various elements together and no obvious single point on which to focus our attention. In response to your question, some suggestions for you: flip the roadway horizontally so that the double yellow lines originate from the lower left-hand corner; lose the tunnel in the distance; lose the pylon tower top left; straighten the gates so that the uprights are truly vertical; lose the three white signs; keep the yellow 'No Trespassing' sign; lose the aircraft tail in the ground and replace it with an aircraft in the top-right quadrant flying into the picture; change the orientation of the radar dish so that its beam is directed towards the incoming aircraft; add Radial Zoom Blur centred on the aircraft. I hope you don't mind my comments but you did ask for some thoughts. Posted: 09/06/2023 01:55:21
Tom, All the diagonal lead-in lines direct us to the horizontally-stowed radar dish and the vertical beam emanating from it. This leaves me thinking about the iconic quotation from the TV series Star Trek which Captain Kirk gave to his Chief Engineer ... 'Beam Me Up Scotty'. Although this was never actually quoted in the show, it seems to have stuck in the show's folklore. So perhaps there may be something to explore there? Alternatively, you might like to think about reforming the ray from the radar into a staircase shape and do something around English rock band Led Zeppelin's iconic hit 'Stairway to Heaven'. What about duplicating the radar and have them playing table tennis over the gates? What do you think? Posted: 09/09/2023 06:02:55
Hi Brian,
Thanks for all the great ideas. Can you think of other stories I could tell with these elements?
THanks
Tom
Posted: 09/06/2023 14:47:39
Thanks for all the great ideas. Can you think of other stories I could tell with these elements?
THanks
Tom
Posted: 09/06/2023 14:47:39
Hi Tom, this has a lot of potential and a good story to tell. My suggestions are: delete the trees on the left as well as those on the horizon; take out the gate with the signs and the road as well and the tower on the left behind the trees. Also get rid of the cloudy sky. I can't see how they add to the story you're trying to tell. Then I would add grass across the foreground (where the road was). Alternatively pick another background image where the sky is dominant. Turn the image into night and add a night sky with stars. This will make the radar dish stand out more. Make the radar larger and tilt it with the laser towards a plane in the sky. Add fire and smoke to the plane to indicate that it's been hit. Also I would leave the plane in the ground and add another two and strategically spread across the foreground to indicate that no plane can get past the dish. This would suggest that the radar is the "Defender" - this is a battle in the sky and so make the sky dominant. I would have one third ground and two thirds sky. Hope this helps. Posted: 09/07/2023 06:15:10
Nadia, WOW! I thought I was being radical in my suggestions but this takes thinking outside the box to a new level. I particularly like the introduction of a night sky and for me this would work well with a daytime landscape. I wondered whether the presence of a defensive air bubble around the radar might work, through which the aircraft could not penetrate and which would be destroyed on contact. Posted: 09/09/2023 06:17:34
Brian, anything is possible in creating composite images. It's just a matter of what photos are available to create the image. I like your idea of a "bubble" around the radar. Posted: 09/15/2023 06:23:00
Hi Nadia,
Cool. I hit a mental block on this one, and your suggestions are helpful. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
Tom
Posted: 09/15/2023 12:55:44
Cool. I hit a mental block on this one, and your suggestions are helpful. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
Tom
Posted: 09/15/2023 12:55:44
Here's my new version inspired by Brian and Nadia. Posted: 09/15/2023 15:40:35
Hi Tom, I think you've done a great job on this one. I like all of the elements you've chosen to put it together, it's a stronger story. Posted: 09/19/2023 04:07:26
Tom, I like your monochrome treatment and the texture of the 'lunar' surface, both of which work well. However, as a visual story, it doesn't quite work 100% for me and I don't know why. Perhaps it might be the planet top left; does it need to be much larger in the field of view to invade the picture space and dominate the story line as a safe haven for the aircraft? Perhaps it might be the aircraft flying out of the frame on the left-hand-side and taking our attention with it. Perhaps it might be that the disparate elements in the picture are not 'joined up' sufficiently as a cohesive whole. Presentationally, I would be inclined to stroke a one pixel white line (50% opacity) around the image to stop any bleed-over into the black background surrounding the image. Nevertheless, well done on creating something different and unique. Posted: 09/21/2023 08:53:30
Wow, this is really different than the ones posted, I like how you were able to run with their ideas and compose and create it, most of us would have gotten defensive instead. Kudos
As for the original creation, I would edit the 7647 to say area 54. I would leave the gate and the road, but I would have the road come in from the left so the image reads left to right and leads us to the center of interest. The road now leads us out of the frame. To me the tall tower on the left distracts.
Posted: 09/25/2023 13:28:39
As for the original creation, I would edit the 7647 to say area 54. I would leave the gate and the road, but I would have the road come in from the left so the image reads left to right and leads us to the center of interest. The road now leads us out of the frame. To me the tall tower on the left distracts.
Posted: 09/25/2023 13:28:39
Tom, A very interesting discussion so far. I like your revised image as it tells a much better story. The original is also workable if you can draw the elements together in the way you've done in your revision. I do find some elements caused me to veer from the story such as the 7647 Bliss sign. I wasn't sure what it was referring to. Posted: 09/15/2023 15:47:08
I admire your tenacity Tom in sticking to your intention to create an image of a laser battle. For me the second image works the best but maybe it doesn't need the planet in the top corner. The first image is way too busy for me. Posted: 09/25/2023 14:38:24